Ordinarily, Injibabo, the Fisherman of the Waterfronts, could be said to have seen and heard all. He has been a fisherman since he was strong enough to walk with his two legs without help, as a child. He has lived in several fishing ports, occasionally coming home with his parents to rest a little. It has been one fishing expedition or the other with his parents and sometimes with others, until he was able to set out on his own, having acquired his own canoe, paddles and nets.
Having been on his own for quite a long time and most of the time, carrying out his fishing trips at night, he has seen and heard things. Like the cormorant, the bird that dives into the sea to catch fishes, he maintains the law of silence. It was the cormorant that said that if it has to say all that it saw below the sea, even men would be afraid to go out fishing. So Injibabo swallows all that he sees or hears during his fishing trips. He relishes his silence and is hardly bothered by whatever he sees or hears. He bears all with equanimity.
However, Injibabo, the Fisherman of the Waterfronts lost his balance and strangely, became upset by the strange and illogical ways of the People of the City. They baffle him, they disorganize him and as he waited for the appointed time to begin deliberations, he began to soliloquize, unaware that others sitting beside him in the Parliamentary Hall were over hearing him and wondering what has gone wrong with him.
“Why are the People of the City so peculiar? Why do they do things differently and think differently as if they are different species of human beings? The other day I heard about a little baby giving birth to a baby. Can you imagine a 10-year-old girl who had not stopped playing with her dolls having a child of her own? The People of the City never cease to amaze me. A 10-year-old Colombian girl gave birth to a healthy baby girl, making her one of the youngest mothers ever.
“Now, the People of the City are reporting that the governor of Rivers State, Rt. Hon. Chibuike Rotimi Amaechi has promised not to pick his successor in 2015. Can you imagine that? Who has ever picked his successor and declared so openly? He said the voters and members of the Peoples Democratic Party, PDP, would do the picking. Does that imply that previously governors were picked without the input of voters and members of the PDP? The People of the City should know that there are some things that should not be said as it would constitute a wasteful effort and unnecessary distraction.
“Even if I do not disturb my peace with all these, what about the issue about the pastors who allegedly man-handled their father because he refused to repent like them? Is this not enough to disturb a man’s peace? Is this not enough to disorganize a man’s cerebral oblongata? The father, Dr. Simon Onuwa, aka African Solomon or son of Satan, is a native doctor. He has 47 wives and close to 200 children! Odumodu! He combines his native doctor business with that of baby manufacturing. Seven of his sons have been ordained pastors. The man was so kind-hearted that he brought up his children and gave them freedom to worship wherever and whatever they choose. However, the pastors felt that the father who gave them such freedom should not enjoy the same freedom of worship. The children felt God would not allow them to enter into His kingdom unless they come with their father. Strange. But what did the ‘born agains’ do to their father? Said the father, “Can you imagine me being pounced upon by my children whom I have been doing everything for? This is unacceptable. I cannot tolerate it any longer. This nonsense started about two years ago when I discovered that one of the so-called pastors is having carnal relationship with one of my wives. When I challenged him, he reacted by organizing others to rebel against me. To carry cheap favour, he told them that I am evil, that I must abandon my herbal practice and embrace Christ. That was how the campaign of calumny and blackmail started.”
“The troubled father went on to state, “I told them that there is freedom of worship in Nigeria, that they should practice their own religion and allow me to practice my own. I do not interfere in their own religion. I even promised to sponsor their own religious programmes, including crusades. Yet, they say I am a devil. I agree. But I tell them, if I am a devil, they should know that all of them are children of devil. Yes, I am son of Satan. I chose to serve him after my gory experience as a Catholic mass server. I told my son who is making love with my wife, if his kind of repentance is to be making love with his father’s wife, then such religion is evil.”
“But what did one of the “pastors” say? “Don’t mind our father, that man is a Satan. We told him to repent, but he refused. He must repent or we will force him to. He is evil. He doesn’t want any of us to be successful; we are not going to school. We are all milling around this big compound. When we pray, he will say, we are disturbing him. That man must embrace Christ, he must or this compound will not contain us.” Some pastors indeed!
“I, Injibabo, the Fisherman of the Waterfronts have seen things visible and invisible, yet the People of the City baffle me. That is why I am annoyed with my dear governor, Rt. Hon. Amaechi. Yes, I am annoyed with him. You see, I agree when he said his administration has completed and equipped 250 model Primary Schools and are ready for commissioning. I agree when he said, “We have gone beyond 100 primary healthcare centres. We promised the state 160 healthcare centres, so we will deliver on the 160 hopefully before the end of the year”. In fact, I also agree with him when he said he would commission 200 projects in 200 days in 200 communities at a stretch. But what made him to vow to fish out ghost workers in Rivers State? Who told him ghosts are fishes or fishes ghosts. I disagree with him here. I have seen several festivals yet I have never seen or heard of where ghosts have been fished out. The worst part of it is that he was not even talking about ordinary ghosts. He was talking about ghosts that guzzle millions of salaries every month! Now, if it is a Herculean task to catch a man who stole just a million naira, how then is it possible to catch several ghosts that consume about N38m every month? I, Injibabo, the Fisherman of the Waterfronts hereby state that Governor Amaechi should use his time to ensure that the N500m spent monthly on sanitation without real success become successful, and not waste his time chasing shadows, or is it ghosts workers. He should know that human ghosts that pretend to be workers are more elusive than real ghosts. It is very difficult to use human beings to catch human ghost workers.”
Injibabo’s thoughts were rudely interrupted by the Oldman of the Waterfronts. The appointed time has come and he stood up abruptly catching the attention of all. He stretched his left hand and picked up the bottle of the local white brew, and also stretched his right hand to pick up the little glass cup. He filled it and began to call the ancestors.
“Odumodu, great ancestor of the People of the Waterfronts, he who dwells at the domain between the land and the sea, we greet you. What can we do without your benevolence and protective care? Take, drink and continue your kindness. The People of the City are so treacherous that whoever is not on his toes would be swept away. It is now dangerous to celebrate Easter or Christmas in this country. Imagine last Sunday when Christians are supposed to worship in their churches, waiting for the resurrection of their Saviour, about 40 people were bombed out of existence in Kaduna. It was in futility that Pope Benedict XVI in his Easter speech at the Vatican, said, “To Nigeria, which in recent times has experienced savaged terrorist attacks, may the joy of Easter grant the strength needed to take up anew the building of a society which is peaceful of the religious freedom of its citizens.” Boko Haram, meaning “Western education is sacrilege,” ensured that there was no peace or freedom of worship on Easter Sunday. They have snuffed out life from more than 380 people this year alone. Take, drink and save us. The PDP said they would rule for 50 years, may we not have 50 years of Boko Haram killings.
“Otumo-Ogugu, Favourite of the Maidens, he who goes in and out of the Maidens, detecting the unfaithful ones, we enjoin you to liaise with your co-ancestor, Odumodu, to change the hearts of the People of the City and let peace reign. Take and drink.
“Osokolo, another favourite of the Maidens, he who pursues the Maidens out of the Waterfronts, take, drink and join your co-ancestors.”
The Oldman of the Waterfronts poured the last drop on the floor, refilled the little glass cup, swallowed all and allowed the bottle of the local white brew and the little glass cup to move round the Hall. ###
Kenneth Amabipi
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