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The Waterfronts Parliament: Otedola Vs Farouk: Another Talking Yam Episode?

Angaladikibo, the Watcher of the Mangroves, gazed at the Mangroves through the window of the Parliamentary Hall of the People of the Waterfronts. He was waiting for the appointed time for deliberations to begin. Others waited also, some engaging in low tune conversations, some deep in thought, while some dozed. Deliberations must begin at the appointed time, yet the People of the Waterfronts, having cultivated the habit of never getting late to an appointment, always sit in the Parliamentary Hall several minutes before the appointed time, quite unlike the People of the City. Angaladikibo always spends his time gazing at the Mangroves whenever he has to wait for the appointed time.
As usual, the Mangroves did not disappoint him. They always open up to him whenever he gazes at them. This time, they carefully brought into his mind, the words of former president Olusegun Obasanjo. “Integrity is necessary for systems and institutions to be strong. Today, rogues, armed robbers are in the state Houses of Assembly and the National Assembly. What sort of laws will they make?” Angaladikibo ruminated on the words of Obasanjo. Did the General know about the Otedola versus Lawan movie before saying those words? Did he have a dossier on all the lawmakers, at least, the prominent ones? What moved him to make such sweeping allegations? Now that the very person most of the People of the City felt was integrity personified has been exposed as lacking integrity, has it justified his allegation? Should the report of the House Adhoc Committee on Fuel Subsidy be thrown away because its chairman, the now suspended member of the House of Representatives, Hon. Farouk Lawan, has been exposed as being compromised?
Angaladikibo’s thoughts were like a whirlwind, sweeping here and there, trying to find solutions to his mind-boggling questions. He wondered if there are no honest people among the People of the City, just because a prominent figure has been proved to be infested by the corruption bug. Besides, Angaladikibo wanted to know from the Mangroves who is a honest man? Is it someone who under any condition, even at the pain of death, will not compromise his position? Is a corrupt man wholly corrupt? That is, is he incorrigibly corrupt and would forever remain so under any circumstance? Can a corrupt man later metamorphose into an honest man? If so, can an honest man also later turn out to be corrupt under a different circumstance? Why are some countries with the same political system developed? How did their politicians ensure a smooth operation of the system to ensure regular electricity supply, regular water supply, ensure adequate security, provide food and good roads in their nations? Did they achieve those feats because they are not corrupt? Or is it because they are just less corrupt? Is it then correct to say that it is the preponderance of corrupt people over the honest people that ensures the denial of the basic necessities of life to the citizenry? And in reverse, is it the preponderance of honest people over corrupt ones that ensures the provision of basic amenities for the citizenry? In other words, no society is totally bereft of honest people or of corrupt politicians, but the majority of one over the other determines where the scale tilts?
Hon. Farouk Lawan’s case was a hard nut for Angaladikibo, the Watcher of the Mangroves, to crack. He so much admired him, owing to his activities as a member of the Integrity Group in the House of Representatives, having returned to the House for the fourth time now. In fact, some are even insinuating that he has his eyes on the governorship position of his home state, after his stint as a legislator. Angaladikibo who has never bought the idea that someone could rubbish your name without your active consent, could not take it that Lawan was being rubbished because of his governorship ambition. He has always maintained that no one could soil your name successfully except you do something to warrant that. Only Farouk Lawan can soil the name Farouk Lawan. Whatever happens, Angaladikibo concluded deep within him, the report of the Adhoc committee on fuel subsidy must not be jettisoned just because one or two members, be they corrupt or otherwise, have been found wanting. The report should be treated on its own merit, irrespective of what befalls the Head of the Committee.
The Oldman of the Waterfronts truncated the rambling thoughts of Angaladikibo at the appointed time. The appointed time came and the Oldman of the Waterfronts got up abruptly. The ancestors must be appeased and the deliberation must begin. He stretched his left hand and picked up the bottle of the local white brew, while his right hand picked up the little glass cup, permanent companion of the bottle of the local white brew. He filled it and began his call on the ancestors to take charge of the deliberations.
“Odumodu, great ancestor of the People of the Waterfronts, he who dwells at the domain between the Land and the Sea, we greet you. Take, drink and assist us as we try to understand the ways of the People of the City. So many things are happening at the same time in the City and we are confused. It is only you that can make head or tail of what is going on in the City. We, mere mortals, cannot understand the People of the City. Just imagine what is happening now. We were all happy that at last the People of the City wanted to keep the City straight by exposing those who have seen drawing us back. But now, see what is happening. The very person sent to catch the thief has taken some of the spoils for himself. What do we do? Do we have to import or create a special breed of human beings to keep the City straight? Take, drink and help us.
“Otumo-Ogugu, Favourite of the Maidens, he who goes in and out of the Maidens, take and drink. It is time for you and your co-ancestors to try to keep the City straight. The People of the City now move with sophisticated equipment, capturing every sleazy move. Help them to be exposing themselves until they restrain their thieving hands.
“Osokolo, another Favourite of the Maidens, he who pursues the Maidens out of the Waterfronts, reminding them of their duties at home, we greet you. Take, drink and assist us in our bid to understand the ways of the People of the City.”
The Oldman of the Waterfronts refilled the little glass cup and swallowed all, indicating the end of his libation. The bottle of the local white brew and the little glass cup moved round the hall and each one swallowed a glassful, ready for the deliberations.
It was Arukulo, the man who says he is always at the front of the canoe, that got up to speak first.
“People of the Waterfronts, I greet you all. Strange things are happening in the City. Actually, my intention was to speak on the strange happening in the House of Representatives as it pertains to the man of the famous Integrity Group, Farouk Lawan. By the way, have you heard another group calling itself, “The Genuine Integrity Group”? Anyway, I have decided to leave the House and go to the farms. Don’t be surprised. I have just been informed that yams have started talking in a farm in Aji village in Enugu Ezike, Igbo Eze North Local Council of Enugu State. Nothing, as you very well know, is impossible with the People of the City.
“According to the story, one Kenneth Omale, a farmer, was harvesting his yams when one of them shouted at him, ‘This small boy, don’t dare touch me!’ Trust the Poole of the City, none of them were eye-witnesses to the strange episode, but the news is spread as if they were present when the yam was harvested. Hear what an indigene of Aji village said about the yam: ‘I rushed to the scene when people gathered in large numbers, but my son, Ekene, who went there before me, said the yam in question not only talked to Kenneth like a human being, but resisted being harvested. He said before the yam was harvested, an inanimate object that looked like a baby doll, fell mysteriously from the sky into the compound and began to toss round as if it was remotely controlled from somewhere. My son also told me that Kenneth went to fortify himself with some fetish powers before he could eventually subdue the mysterious yam and harvest it. However, when I reached the place, I only saw a giant-sized yam with palm frond tied round it. Though I did not see the yams talking, but the size is unusually big compared to other yams in the community. I made enquires and was told the yam had stopped talking because of the palm frond tied around it.’
“People of the Waterfronts, remember, the son of the man was not with the farmer when he was harvesting the yam. That is not all, let me tell you what the harvester of the yam said. He said, ‘I wonder why people are so gullible. They said the yams I cultivated and harvested on my own have been talking or that it talked. I won’t deny it neither will I prove it. All I know is that laziness has done serious harm to these people. My house was turned into another Mecca of sort. People from afar like Ibagwa Ani, Enugu and even Anambra have been trooping in to see the so-called mysterious yam. If I had decided to collect gate fee, I would have raked in hundreds of thousands in naira since everybody want to see the talking yam. …….. This is the highest of gullibility but they think they are just tarnishing my image…The thing is simply that I had bumper harvest and they interpreted it to mean that ‘yam had talked’ in my house. People are no longer wise, they don’t know the words of our elders again and those who knew can explain what it means when a farmer from our area tells you that yams talked in his house after harvest. ……. Instead of people now asking to know the secret of my bountiful harvest, they began to peddle all kinds of falsehood and rumours …..”.
“People of the Waterfronts, I deliberately brought this yam talking issue, now that we are all talking about the strange happening in the House of Representatives. Is this Otedola versus Farouk movie real or concocted? Has it any semblance to the story of the talking yam of Aji village, just to bring down a successful figure? Or is it real? Let us not rush into conclusion until we have all watched the movie.”
The Oldman of the Waterfronts quickly filled the little glass cup and emptied the content into his mouth. ###

By Kenneth Amabipi
0803 668 7846
Email: kennymaps@yahoo.co.uk

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