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WOMEN FOCUS: Sex of A Baby Girl: Who Is To Be Blame – Mother Or Father?

In some African countries, the arrival of a girl child is not always the welcoming news, especially when it is the first born of the family.
In some families, they see the birth of a girl child as of no child is born to the family.
It is a common practice to blame the mother when a girl child is born. The mother is abused and insulted for not being capable of delivery a boy child.
A mother who was supposed to enjoy and be care for, from the weight and load of pregnancy for nine (9) months will start another facet of suffering the time she gives birth to a baby girl. Members of the family will no longer be at peace with her. She will be seen as a mistake brought by their son or brother to the family.
There have been cracks in marriages just because the man wants a male child. It is also a popular belief, especially among some Nigerian men that they are not yet a father until they give birth to a male child or male children as the case maybe.
Some mothers who produce only girls suffer from shame and humiliation for the rest of their lives. In this case, a new wife is brought in to produce male child.
It is a common wisdom in Africa to believe that the mother plays a central role in deciding the sex of unborn child.
It is injustice on married women, if they are seen as the cause of lack of boys in a marriage. The Bible says in Psalms 127:3 “Lo, children are a heritage of the Lord; and the fruit of the womb is his reward”. This include male and female child.
Are men right in blaming the wife for bringing forth a female child?
I remember a man who already giving birth to two girls and the wife was pregnant with the third, because of the two girls, the man was already out of his home for lack of male child, when his wife was under labour for the third child, the midwife called him to come and see what his wife have for him, thinking that it is a baby boy, rushing to the maternity home, on getting to the maternity home, he saw his wife under labour with heavy pain, he pauses and started crying and told the midwife that he never knew, his wife went through such pain to deliver his children. Though his wife delivers another baby girl, he named the girl peace, and from that day peace actually reigns in their home. The man came and apologized to his wife and they are living in peace till date.
If giving birth to a daughter is such an abominable crime, shouldn’t we at least know for sure who is really responsible of committing this “crime”. Is it really the woman?
I am not a medical doctor or scientist. In fact, my knowledge of science is limited to O’level biology alone. But do we really need any world best scientist to come and prove this fact? Even an O’level student could answer this question with utmost authority.
Scientifically speaking, the woman contributes only X chromosomes and if the man also contributes X chromosomes then the child will have both X chromosomes and thus a girl child is born. If the man contributes Y chromosomes, the child will have X and Y chromosomes which will be a boy. Thus, it is clear that the man plays a decisive role in deciding the sex of the foetus.
The innocent wife is always blamed for the birth of a girl child whereas the culprit-husband joins the chorus, blaming and punishing his wife.
If really men are desperate to play the blame game here, and exercise their anger on someone, then it has to be on themselves.
Men are actually responsible when their wives give birth to female children all the time, they conceive.
The blame should stop; the reverse should be the case. Women should be the one asking the question of why female child always and not the men. ###

Edith Nse Friday

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