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The Waterfronts Parliament: HAPPINESS MEASURED BY BOTTLES

The Oldman of the Waterfronts got up. The appointed time to begin the deliberations has come and the ancestors must be appeased before any discussion. The Waterfronts Parliament has endured the vagaries of time because it knows its roots. The People of the Waterfronts are unlike the People of the City who forget or ignore their roots and so behave like living without history.
It is this lack of not knowing the roots of one that has seemingly turned the world upside down. Now, in some parts of the City, people are free to mete with even beasts and also their kind, I mean, a man can have sex with a man and woman can also have it with her fellow woman can you imagine? But we must … rate because we all have come many times before into this world and have acquired diverse ways to experience to life.
The People of the Waterfronts know their roots and so they never forget to see the face of their ancestors whenever a serious decision is to be taken. This is why the Oldman of the Waterfronts must appear the ancestors and ask for their guidance before the commencement of deliberations in the hallowed chamber of the Waterfronts Parliament.
The Oldman of the Waterfronts picked up the bottle of the local white brew with his left hand at the dot of time. His right hand followed suit and picked up the little glass cup, permanent companion of the bottle of the local white brew. He filled it and began his call on the ancestors of the People of the Waterfronts, to take charge of the deliberations.
This is one of the reasons, the People of the Waterfronts never engage in fishhcuffs or throw chairs or brandish guns or throw bombs at each other, in their parliamentary Hall. Their ancestors take control of the deliberations and tempers are controlled and everything done accordingly, systematically, orderly and with friendliness to the delight of all.
“Odumodu, great ancestor of the People of the Waterfronts, “the Oldman of the Waterfronts began “take and drink. We must call deliberations on the headless and detailess actions of the People of the City. Help us to understand the spirit that takes control of them once they are in power. Ordinarily same, gentle and benevolent gentlemen and women who in their private homes, far away from the seat of power, appreciates the plight of the downtrodden,, suddenly trips over and spurn high-fallutin ideas that oppress the less-privileged. We want to know the cause of these sudden sommersaults. Take and drink.
“Otumo-Ogugu, Favourite of the Maidens, he who goes in and out of the Maidens, exposing the unfaithful ones, we so call on you. Take and drink. No matter how large a man’s scrotum is, it is he that will carry it and move along with it. The scrotum can not carry him along. Otum-Ogugu, no matter the problem, you the ancestors can save us. Take and drink.
“Osokolo, another Favourite of the Maidens he who pursues the ladies out of the Waterfronts, flogging the lazy ones, take and drink. A child with careful parents never goes astray. With you our ancestors at out back and front, we will never go astray. Take and drink and assist us”.
The Oldman of the Waterfronts ended his libation filled the little glass cup and swallowed all. He allowed the bottle of the local white brew and the little glass cup to go round. The People of the Waterfronts took a glassful, each.
“People of the Waterfronts, I greet you all, Injibabo, the Fisherman of the Waterfronts began, immediately the Oldman at the Waterfronts ended his libation and he was given the permission to speak.
“I wish you a merry Christmas and a prosperous new year in advance. You all deserved it after a full year’s toil. The period, all over the world, is a Christmas period. I have no doubt that the People pf the City knows this very well. I also know that they know the import of the season. I mean, they know that it is supposed to be Christ’s mass, a commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ. Forget about whether Jesus was born on December 25 or any other date as claimed by others. The most important thing is that a day has been designated as the day of his birth.
“What bothers me most is that instead of the followers of Jesus Christ to observe the period to all and sundry as exemplified by their master they have turned it to a period of frolicking, a period of drinking and partying. It has turned to a period when happiness is measured by the number of bottles of alcohol taken. It has been characterized by the number of boyfriends and girl friends you can amass. It has been marked by the number of clothe as or gifts you can acquire. Infact, it has turned to a period of shameless begging by many people. What caused it? What do we do about it?
Immediately Injibabo, the fisherman of the Waterfronts sat down, Okolobo, he of the creeks, got up to speak.
“People of the Waterfronts, you all know the devices ways of the People of the City. They will always bend everything to suit themselves. This is a season of love, which their master fervently preached as the most important thing in life. However, it is an open secret that the People of the City never haved themselves. It is a truism that if you do not have yourself, you cannot have another person. Infact, tell me how can someone who cannot help himself, help someone else.
“Now look at it. The People of the City want are entering the new year with hearts beating at a double. Why? The powers that be have decreed that fuel subsidy or whatever they call it, must go. Ofcourse we the People of the Waterfronts have no cause to worry. Afterall, we do not have generators that consume fuel, we do not have cars and we do not have any equipment that uses fuel. We are content with our dug-out canoes and peddles. We are content with water from the stream or even rain drops. They are the ones that will suffer it.
“Now look at this way. If they say they need money to run the nation, is there no other way to go about it without removing the so called subsidy?
“I remember, a man called Mr. David MacRay who is not even from our shores, observed that subsidy removal is not a popular issue according to a survey conducted. He observed that several broken promises have led the general populace to distrust any move of the powers that be, whom they reel out another promises of fortunes.
If that is true, why not do the necessary things that will make them happy, at least in the tune with this Christmas season so that you can regain their trust? Why not listen to McRay who said, “If you want to help poor people, you have to look at the social sectors-water, health, education and access to jobs. Provides these basic services of electricity, water, health, education and mass employment and then remove your subsidy and see if anyone will even notice. In a country where basic amenities like good roads and others are lacking, any talk about imposing more hardship on the people sounds so offensive, except to the very people who are living on the largesse of the people.
“Just look at the NNPC, look at the rot emanating from there. Corruption has given birth to grand children there. Let us cure that and there would be money available to run the affairs of the nation. I have not mentioned the billions taken by ghost workers. Can you imagine that ghost will be given salaries while human beings are starving? It has been so oppressive that the federal government is now thinking of raising panel to cast out those ghosts. Please let us do that first and set up our refineries and them you can take away your subsidies.
As Okolobo, he of the creeks sat down, the Oldman of the Waterfronts filled the little glass cup and swallowed all. ###

By Kenneth Amabipi
0803 668 7846
Email: kennymaps@yahoo.co.uk

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